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Joke of the Day

"""Dave's coming over."" -Dave from work or Dave that doesn't know how doors work? [doorknob sorta jiggles for like 20 minutes]"

Next Joke
 
"Featuring tweets in an article is a newspaper's version of giving up and wearing sweatpants everywhere."
"My dad and I never got along We have been butting heads since the womb"
"I like my women like I like my friends Exploitable"
"What is a traitor's favorite food? Eggs Benedict"
"I'm broke but not ""vacuums the air filter* instead of replacing it"" broke. *more than twice."
"4 out of 5 dentists recommend Trident sugarless gum. The 5th dentist is busy butchering protected wildlife."
"What do you call a gay New Zealander? A Kiwi Fruit."
"What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDS"
"Just ordered a non-fat pumpkin spice latte & now I drive a Prius & am a Zumba instructor."