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Joke of the Day

"How many white cops does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, as he'll just beat the room for being black."

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"Just saw an employment ad... ...for cleaning elephant dicks... The pay isn't good but the tips are big... I'll be here all week..."
"Matthew 28, John 20. Luke 24, Mark 21. That means Matthew and Luke will meet in the finals."
"Me: Wow this recumbent bike is pretty comfortable. Trainer: Ok now start pedaling. Me: What?"
"Resumes are the most popular form of historical fiction."
"I hate having sex with my partner while we're camping... It's two fucking in tents."
"Is your dad's name Craftsman? Because you're a ratchet that's very easy to replace"
"What do magistrates have with their water? Just ice."
"[overhears guy saying economy is bad] [later, at family dinner] no trust me, the last thing you want is an economy. those things are so bad"
"What's the difference between a hedgehog and a Ferrari? The pricks are on the outside of a hedgehog."