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Joke of the Day

"Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read her lips."

"How to take selfies: Step 1: Take 40 pictures. Step 2: Post the least bad one."

"Everyone should have that ""tester"" first twitter account to screw up and learn from... You know, kinda like that first child you have."

"Why do the Germans use commas in place of decimal points? Because it makes 6,000,000 seem like a much smaller number."

"Having sex is like playing bridge....!!!! If you don't have a good partner,you better have a good hand..."

"One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos"

"I can teach you to write in steps. I call it stair-case...."

"What do tight pants and a cheap hotel have in common? No ballroom."

"Every time I see an obese family at a buffet, I throw a sack of marbles onto the table and have a live showing of Hungry Hungry Hippos."

"Q: How do you say ""take a shit"" in Japanese? A: Shit-take Q: How do you say ""took a shit"" in Japanese? A: Shit-take-mashita"