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Joke of the Day

"Why do the Germans use commas in place of decimal points? Because it makes 6,000,000 seem like a much smaller number."

"Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis."

"*Getting murdered* omg I have the exact same knives"

"The Edge falling off stage at that U2 concert... it's comedy on at least two levels."

"Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn't, stupid enough to do it anyway."

"""Bro! You remembered our bronniversary! How bromantic."" -Bromosexuals"

"dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows"

"College graduates, did you know there are people that went to Princeton that can't find a job? And you just went to a normal shitty school."

"Carlsberg don't do Alzheimer's ... ... but they do make exceedingly good cakes."

"So I went to grad school and finished my doctorate... I got my doctorate in fighting games and completed a masters in traditional line dancing. My degree is called the Shoryucan-can"