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Joke of the Day

"So I have a pretty good fathers day joke Can't wait to tell my dad when he finally brings the milk home"

"""What do we want?"" ""Yesterday!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""NOW!"" ~ Conservatives"

"What do you call a chain of singing islands? An acapellago."

"[1st date] Her: so u play piano? Him: yep Her: is it hard? Him: that's pretty forward but yeah, as a rock Her: I meant playing piano Him: oh"

"Why is Pavlov's hair so soft? Classic conditioning."

"Always trust people who like big butts. They cannot lie."

"What's denser than a feminist? Water. . . . . Water is denser than fat"

"What's the most racist place in a house? The laundry room. It's the only place where the blacks have to be separated from the whites."

"NSFW My friend told me how much she hated sucking dick. I said I've never done it so I can't felate."

"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."