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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper goes into a bar... and the bartender says, ""Hey! We have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper says, ""You have a drink named Phil?"""

"Since Trump got elected 2.5 million Americans want to leave the country That's 2.5 million jobs he's already made!"

"What do you get when you vaporize a king? A noble gas."

"Black and Blue Whats black and blue and doesnt like sex? The six year old in my trunk!"

"What do you call an Ethiopian taking a shit? A show off"

"The irony of being a horse is you could lift weights all day and you will still only have 1 horsepower"

"It's complicated having sex with hipsters. They don't like things that are ""in""."

"I went to the doctor today. He told me I was fat. I said I wanted a second opinion. He says, Okay, you're ugly."

"I know a really good reverend Jim Jones joke. I'd tell it, but the punch line is too long."

"I once called a psychic. She asked who was on the line, so I hung up."