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Joke of the Day

"Need special medicine for our son's kidneys but we can't afford it because we bought printer ink last week :("

"A pedophile was taking a small child into the woods at night.... The kid say, ""These woods are really scary"". The pedophile replies with, ""You're telling me, iv'e got to walk out of here alone""."

"Why do dyslexics drink tea when having a heated argument? Because they're having a sipping contest."

"A magic 8-ball would make better life decisions for me than I do."

"Did you hear Peter Dinklage got pickpocketed? Who would stoop that low?"

"My daughter just asked for a Samsung Galaxy phone. Had to sit her down and explain to her we aren't poor. #iPhone"

"Boy: Our Principal So Stupid Girl:Don't You Know Who i am? Boy: No Girl: I'm The Principal's Daughet. Boy: Do You Know Who i am? Boy: Good (Walks Away)"

"Unlike Eric Garner... I live for out of state cigarettes."

"Boss ""Are you high?"" Me ""If I was high could I do this?"" *Inserts a USB into it's port the right way up 1st time"""