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Joke of the Day

"My daughter just asked for a Samsung Galaxy phone. Had to sit her down and explain to her we aren't poor. #iPhone"

"Why is there no ""Lets settle this like women""? Because it lasts forever."

"What do you call someone from Massachusetts who murders a bunch of Catholics? A Mass. Mass Mass Murderer."

"Did you hear about the guy who took some dude's ear off with a vacuum cleaner? His name was Mike Dyson."

"A spinoff of Zootopia would have lampooned any people from a certain fandom who drew NSFW pictures of the two leads and shipped them. Alas, *Furry Vengeance* was already taken."

"How was copper wire invented ? One copper coin, two dwarves."

"Government Shutdown: Day 4 3am: Monkey House, National Zoo A door crashes open. A triumphant screech. Ben Stiller escapes into the night."

"I said hello to a feminist My court date starts tomorrow."

"Who says time travel doesn't exist and we can't go back in time? America just did."

"Have a bad only child? Apple unveils terrifying robot sibling... iSis."