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Joke of the Day

"If Trump becomes president... there'll be hell toupee"

"Things I know I cannot do but still try to: 1. Cartwheel 2. Hit the high note 3. Move things with my mind 4. Eat 'just one' 5. Be Cool"

"I surveyed 100 women & asked which shampoo did they use when showering. 99 of them said, 'HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE'."

"How many Freuds does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and the other one to hold the penis.. I meant... The ladder."

"I just play poker so I can say I'm going all in without smirking."

"Couldn't figure out how to set up my stereo system, so I called my dad... He gave me some sound advice."

"Mistook a discarded plastic bag for a rat today as the wind blew it across my path. On the plus side, I can now perform the 'Gangnam Style'."

"How do you tell if someone online is American? They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)"

"If a spider attacks you, you should play dead. No, wait... that's for a bear. If a spider attacks a bear, you should play dead."

"What do you call the study of butts? Analysis."