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Joke of the Day
"Bring your nsfw jokes. You down? Anything that makes parents cry when their kids say it."
Next Joke
"I like guys marrying my sister like I like my pinata coladas Full of rum! (Currently attempting to write a best man speech for my soon to be brother in law)"
"People tell me I'm too condescending. That means I talk down to them."
"Maid of Honor speeches shouldn't end with, ""I'll see you all at her next one."" I know that now."
"Wife: Rock the baby. Me: *plugs in amp*"
"What does a gay horse eat? hAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAyyyy! . . . . . . What does a gay pirate eat? . . . . . **GAY PIRATE FOOD, ARR!!!**"
"What will it take to reunite Nirvana? Two more bullets."
"I am a proud member of Grammar Nazi... And your not."
"It's great that banks are nice enough to charge fees for using machines created for the purpose of replacing paid employees."
"What's dark, empty and going no where fast? Your love life."