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Joke of the Day

"5-year-old: What happens if the baby pees? Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool"

"""There's no '1' in ' team.'"" - guy who wrote ""Se7en"""

"You were probably conceived at home... they say most accidents happen around the household."

"Sure, Canada, feel safe now while US is just after oil. Wait 'til we run low on beer, ice, hockey players & f'd up ways to pronounce words."

"Little Johnny Orders A Pizza ""I'll have an extra large pie, but hold the cheese, hold the sauce, and hold the crust on that pizza!"" Haha"

"I'm doing it doggy style today. Lying on the couch not doing a damn thing. I will bark if you knock on the door."

"Alcohol is a perfect solvent. It dissolves marriages, families and careers."

"I wish I had emo hair So it would cut its self"

"Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud!"

"Why did God make women last? He didn't want someone telling him what to do"