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Joke of the Day

"LPT: If your phone gets wet, leave it in some rice to fix it. The rice will attract Asians who come and fix your phone. You're welcome."

"Why did the nazi refuse to drink lemonade? He hated acidic juice."

"Every night, I have attractive girls banging on my door And sometimes, I let them out!"

"I met this gorgeous girl on the subway... and I said to her, ""do you know the different between lunch and a blowjob"" ""no"" Ok, lets go to lunch then."

"Bread -mummy I'm tired of always eating bread from yesterday! When will we eat bread that was made TODAY? -tomorrow darling."

"What did the painter say to her boyfriend? ""I love you with all my art!"""

"Life is like a box of chocolates... When you've reached the end you feel sick, ashamed, and you just want to die."

"What do you call a hippie's wife? Mississippi"

"what do you call a sad ditch? a depression."

"My class has a field trip to the Coca-Cola factory All the other kids are excited, but I am just praying that there's no pop quiz."