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Joke of the Day

"Religion is like a penis It's perfectly acceptable to have one, but unacceptable to flaunt yours in public."

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"The cat licks itself and it's cute. I do it and I'm ""no longer allowed in the library""."
"To convince my boss that I'm keeping busy, I periodically yell ""YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?"" into my phone, then slam down the receiver."
"How do you keep a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him."
"Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"
"Plunging... ...is like performing CPR on your toilet."
"What do you call two guys using the same urinal? Peers"
"I got in a car accident with a guy with a premature ejaculation problem I swear he came out of no where"
"If you took the Facebook IQ Test and it determined you're a Genius, the fact that you participated in a Facebook test negates the results."
"So I ran into a guy named Juan Williams yesterday... Isn't he the guy who wrote the music for Star Juars?"