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Joke of the Day

"If you took the Facebook IQ Test and it determined you're a Genius, the fact that you participated in a Facebook test negates the results."

"[Date] ""I'm going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there's six."""

"A young Hitler, and a young Mao are in a room with a cannibal The cannibal had dic-tator tots for dinner"

"Are you Russian? Cause I'll be Putin my dick in your mouth tonight. (Don't use as a pick up line doesn't work)"

"*standing behind home plate* -Beware of my dog-like reflexes. -Shouldn't it be cat-like reflexes? *catches baseball with my face*"

"Why did the man take a pencil to bed ? To draw the curtains !"

"Have a bad only child? Apple unveils terrifying robot sibling... iSis."

"Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth."

"A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken... The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, ""Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."""

"A granny comes to see a doctor - and the doctor is a granny too."