112177

Joke of the Day

"Job interview -It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. Whats 19x17? -36 -Thats not even close!! -But it was quick."

"What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater? That was the most violent book I've ever read."

"Two men and one woman are in a plane crash, and they end up on a desert island. The men have sex with the woman for about a week, and one day they stop. Why? Her body was starting to smell."

"If I hear someone crying I immediately cry louder to establish myself as the dominant sad person in the room"

"I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix."

"The people doing it in pornos are in love, right?"

"Teacher: 24 + x + 30 = 90. Find x. Student: It's between 24 and 30."

"Having sex with you is like playing hide and seek After the first 60 seconds you yell ""ready or not, here I come!"""

"A teenager walks into a library. He asks the librarian, ""Where can I find a book on how to kill myself?"" The librarian retorts, ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"""

"Dominos dropped the ""pizza"" from its name because they're not legally allowed to call that pizza."