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Joke of the Day

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection. ""Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"My friend David lost his ID the other day Now we just call him dav"

"I was having sex with a woman when her husband came early. Premature ejaculation is killing our sex life."

"What's the best thing to put into a pizza? Your teeth."

"Babies are the two extremes on the spectrum of smell. They either smell like heaven filled with lollipops or a microwaved porta-potty."

"Why did semen cross the road? Put on the wrong sock....."

"If I give my dog a toy that doesn't make an unbearably annoying noise she looks at me like I have no clue how to do anything right in life."

"Freudian Slip. What Freud wore under his skirt when he cross dressed on weekends."

"If the liquor store didn't want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window."

"How many sound technicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One....Two...One, Two..."