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Joke of the Day

"This one time I was hit on by Anthony Kiedis. I only had two options, either give it away... or flea"

"There is a Mexican, a black person, a muslim, and a gipsy in a car. Who drives it? The officer."

"What's the worst thing about a lung transplant? Coughing up someone else's phlegm"

"What do you call a sheep with no legs ? A cloud."

"Pick a number, double it, add 10, divide it by 2, then minus it by the number you started with. LIKE if you got 5."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar. Badum, ssssshhhhhhh"

"One day I hope to watch a cable show that says ""Brought to you by.. The bill you pay every fucking month."""

"My protractor wanted to know what my plans were for this weekend Not sure what his angle is"

"What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs? Banner."

"If Donald trump and Hilary Clinton both go down on a ship who survives? America that's a no brainer"