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Joke of the Day
"On which day do monsters eat people? Chewsday."
Next Joke
"People always ask me why I quit my job as a can crusher... Well it was just soda-pressing!"
"Measure twice, cut five times, curse profusely, punch a wall, give up, call a professional."
"What's the paradox of 'lingerie'? Done right, it doesn't linger."
"Teenage daughter called me an old fart. We both laughed and then I changed the password to our wifi."
"I heard you like Wendy's?.... When DEEZ nuts in your mouth!"
"Which day of the week do ghosts like best? Moandays."
"Son, I'm not a mad scientist, just a disappointed scientist."
"I have two requirements in my will... 1). I want my remains spread out at Disney World. 2). I do not want to be cremated."
"pool party at my house, bring ur own pool"