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Joke of the Day

"Vacationing in Switzerland ""So did you enjoy the beautiful scenery?"" ""I couldn't really see much because of the mountains."""

"Why didn't the hipster have HIV? He fucked Charlie Sheen before he was cool."

"If you play Titanic backwards it's about a guy who rises from the sea, bangs a ginger and tries to throw her over the railing of a boat."

"""That'll be $19.94."" *pulls out $50 bill* ""Sorry, we've had a problem with counterfeit bills. Have anything smaller?"" *pulls out $25 bill*"

"there's a pile of shoes by the door and you're looking for the pair that will be the quietest for when you leave"

"Me: ""people always think I'm gay! Do I put off a gay vibe?"" Guy whose back I'm massaging in a bubble bath: ""maybe a little"""

"Concert Problems... Kroeger: They tell me, no one knows you guys. Bono: U2."

"There's safety in numbers. Unless there are 6,000,000 of you. And you're Jews."

"You're pretty like a pearl... ...Pearl Harbor; all shot up."

"No, they're not called hedge funds because hedgehogs control the global economy. What a silly idea. :) *later to thugs* They know too much."