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Joke of the Day

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his ass."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff Bu dum tss."

"How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents? The ones with food."

"I saw her biting her bottom lip so I threw her a cupcake. Poor girl must have been starving."

"Having problems with my low-libido S.O., but last night she finally took one for the team! But when she got home she was completely exhausted and still didn't want to have sex with me."

"Interview: ""What is your biggest weakness"" Guy: ""Honesty"" Interviewer: ""I don't believe honesty is a weakness"" Guy: ""I don't give a f*** about what you believe"""

"In California... Did you know that in California you cannot take a picture of a woman with a basket of strawberries? ...you need a camera because strawberries do not take pictures."

"I'm agnostic. What happens when I die? Idk..."

"What do you call a redneck girl who can run faster than her brothers? A virgin."

"Guinness Book of World Records should be in the Guinness Book of World Records as being the book with the most world records."