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Joke of the Day

"Where did the pirate go to college? Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard."

"[REQUEST]: Looking for Altitude Competition Flying Joke Looking for the old joke about several pilots bragging about their flight altitudes (?), and then the last one one-upping them all."

"Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice."

"What do terrorists and the American government have in common? They both blow up people who don't agree with them."

"What's the hardest part of making chicken fried steak? Teaching the chicken to cook"

"Give a man fish and you'll feed him for a day...... Give a fish a man and you're probably in the Mafia"

"How do you ruin a joke? Screw it up. How do you ruin a joke? Screw it up again."

"Hooker says $500. I say $50. She walks away. Later, I'm walking with my wife, same hooker sees me and says, I see what you got for $50."

"Someone just suggested that I use Mapquest. I suggested that he use a rotary phone."

"In the meantime I plan on absolutely crushing it over on LinkedIn."