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Joke of the Day
"Someone just suggested that I use Mapquest. I suggested that he use a rotary phone."
Next Joke
"Man and a duck... ...walk into a bar. ""ouch"" ""quack"""
"Kidnapping Did you hear about the local kidnapping at the school? It's fine, he woke up."
"I like to go on OK Cupid and find the worst possible matches for myself and message them being like ""We can make this work."""
"The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use."
"What do you call a beast made entirely from egg whites? A Meringue-u-tang!!! Note: I know it's spelled Orangutan. :P"
"Why did they put Harriet Tubman on the twenty dollar bill and not Barack Obama? Because if that were the case, you'd never get change."
"Doctor doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!"
"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason."
"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. That's a man's job."