180776

Joke of the Day

"The problem with political jokes is that... They get elected."

"we have ways of making you talk mr bond [introduces dave] this is dave, he's a vegan ""OK ENOUGH"""

"JELLYFISH: *to friend* Want to see something disgusting? Watch this. *stings person* FRIEND: That wasn't dis... JELLYFISH: Wait a minute."

"What are the specs on your computer? Oh those? They're just my reading glasses."

"Are you a Farmer? Cause you know how to raise a cock!"

"A friend is like a condom. They'll stick close to you and protect you as best they can but once you fill them with semen you need a new one."

"It is amazing how many problems you can solve by ignoring them."

"A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame."

"Why didn't the cashier get the punchline? It didn't register."

"Just a reminder: Don't forget to check under your bed for Carrot Top every night!"