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Joke of the Day

"Treat life's problems like your dog would... If you can't eat it or fuck it, just piss on it and walk away."

"So I have this black friend. ... just kidding."

"what do you call fake spaghetti? impasta."

"I sat on the edge of my bed, gently tugging off my boxers... ;) My wife thinks I spoil those dogs."

"Til, We are Homo Sapiens at school, And said that my mother. She wished My father was still Homo Erectus."

"Why couldn't the Dali Lama go out and play with his friends? Because he was grounded."

"Some people are allergic to me. You know why? Deez nuts."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He tried to work it out with a slide rule."

"Donald Trump's tweets are actually really entertaining if you imagine him tweeting from a gold toilet while having violent diarrhea."

"What do you call it when a guy fucks a girl and never calls her again? A hit and run"