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Joke of the Day

"Treat life's problems like your dog would... If you can't eat it or fuck it, just piss on it and walk away."

"A member of the undead said I was prejudiced against his kind... It's simply not true. I have lots of wight friends."

"The patriots must be feeling pretty deflated right about now."

"How many Jews can you fit in a car? (OFFENSIVE) Two in the front, 3 in the back, six million in the ash tray."

"Just listened to a conversation between 3 people under 18 and now I don't know how my Mom or a stranger didn't murder me as a teenager."

"According to Carl Jung, I should live life like a kleptomaniac hooker... ...and take things as they come."

"Why shouldn't Mexicans play UNO? They keep taking all the green cards"

"Tell a sad story in 4 words Lifetime Cleveland Browns fan"

"I went to a pot bar in Colorado this post weekend It was really a seedy joint."

"Well ladies valentines day is over. Time for the men to go back to being a-holes again."