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Joke of the Day

"Just listened to a conversation between 3 people under 18 and now I don't know how my Mom or a stranger didn't murder me as a teenager."

"Adult: If it ain't broke don't fix it Child: If it ain't breakable, not interested"

"Holy crap! This guy in the car next to me is absolutely losing his shit over ""My Heart Will Go On""...said the guy in the car next to me"

"There were 2 goldfish in a tank One said to the other, ""you man the guns, I drive."""

"The Pope is resigning... They say he's hearing imaginary voices from the sky.... and he also wants to retire."

"The tachyon leaves. The Barman says ""We don't serve your kind here."" A tachyon enters a bar."

"What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear? Shot it!"

"girl if we were pokemon you would be a pichu and i would be a raichu because im a convicted child molestor"

"What do you call a woman who is paralysed from the waist down? Married."

"What is the difference between picking your nose.... ...and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!"