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Joke of the Day

"old man's advice when you're young, she just takes your breath away, but once you're older, you realize she's suffocating you."

"What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader"

"Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers."

"Keep on Trying by Percy Vere"

"Why do old Jews watch pornos backwards? They like to see the hookers give the money back''''"

"What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress? A gender bender Bender fender bender."

"I think my chemistry teacher is anti-semetic He asked me to find the pH of the final solution."

"What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League? The Starry Knight"

"Donald Trump is about to watch an episode of his current favorite TV show... Orange is the New Black"

"My girlfriend might not be the sharpest girl around. I accidentally left my phone at her house last night. I went back over to get it and saw she had texted me 5 times telling me I forgot it."