139633

Joke of the Day

"I think my chemistry teacher is anti-semetic He asked me to find the pH of the final solution."

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? The hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"If I were gonna give advice about how to survive leaving your phone at home, it would be this: stare at something else. I chose a weird baby"

"I have OCD and ADHD... So everything has to be just right, but only for a little while."

"What do zombie vegans eat? ... Grains!!!"

"What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard? Sorry you're not my type."

"So Chad Kroeger was just diagnosed with a vocal cyst... I guess that's what the doctor can call nickleback."

"My girlfriend broke up with me. When she did, I gave her a note that said ""Great Job!"" I wanted things to end on a positive note."

"[driving 2 school] *looks back,sees toothbrushes in child carseats WAIT! IF YOU'RE HERE THEN... [cut to kids at home, covered in toothpaste]"

"The total of the food we had was a bit dark... Because we had ""Dim Sum""."