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Joke of the Day

"My parents are middle aged. ""Mine are to-"" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] ""CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"""

"So I started chatting up this Asian girl after a little while she said, sex, sex, sex, free, sex for you. Her friend quickly pointed out that she was giving me her phone number 666-3642"

"What is a Mexicans favorite band? Hispanic at the Disco"

"I'm convinced when squirrels run the road, nearly missing your car, it must be some kind of squirrel gang initiation."

"*wife leaves message on fridge w/ magnets* WE ARET HROUGH maybe it's an anagram *rearranges* ROUGH WEATHER whoa better pack an umbrella"

"What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers!"

"What's the difference between Asians and Caucasians? Asians don't have the ""cauc""."

"If Ronald Reagan were alive today he would roll in his grave... roll, scream, kick and so would you if you woke up in a casket."

"What does a Astronaut that likes to play Basketball eat for Breakfast Space Jam I hope this hasn't been posted yet"

"A man walks into a bar The man is Donald Trump. He orders a drink and leaves a few minutes later. The joke is that you thought this one wasn't going to be political"