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Joke of the Day

"My parents are middle aged. ""Mine are to-"" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] ""CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"""

"I saw this sign that mad me shit my pants. It said 'bathroom closed'"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? I don't know if I can get hard I just got laid this morning!"

"I think the Tuskegee Airmen were incredibly brave... ...not only were they fighter pilots, they all had syphilis!"

"A programmer's wife sends him to the store for a loaf of bread. On his way out she adds, ""and if they have eggs, get a dozen"". He returns home with 12 loaves of bread."

"How can you tell if someone is a pilot? They'll just tell you."

"sure the early bird may get the worm... but the second mouse gets the cheese"

"When is the water in the shower room musical? When it's piping hot."

"Rape. Short word, long sentence!"

"What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a girl. The knife has a point"