175548

Joke of the Day

"My friend would be alive today... if we knew the difference between antidote and anecdote. >""Am I going to live?"" >""I don't know."" >""Read faster!"""

"Food service workers should be completely hairless at all times."

"I guess I just felt safer when Martha Stewart was still in prison."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a truck? The truck doesn't scream when you pump gas into it."

"Some say cheetahs are the fastest animal at 60 mph. Not true. Dogs have been clocked at 18,000 mph when the Soviets launched one into space."

"To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please."

"An optician fell into his lens grinder... and made a spectacle of himself."

"Why do seagulls live by the Sea..? ..Because if they lived by the Bay, they would be bagels! Honestly this cracked me up when I first heard it."

"I like my exes like I like my msn messenger Misremembered fondly but gone forever."

"Who invented the telephone? The Phoenicians (phone-itions)."