167193

Joke of the Day

"How does Kim Kardashian like her eggs? Over-Yeezy. ^forgive ^me"

"Just thinking up snappy comebacks to painful conversations I had 22 years ago. What are YOU doing?"

"I had a sudden, albeit extremely belated, realization about Jared from Subway His career ended the way it began: trying to get into smaller pants."

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!"

"I went to the Optometrists to buy some glasses the other day, you'll never guess who I ran into... Everyone."

"What's the difference between ""a choice"" and "" to choose?"" ""A choice"" is a decision you make. ""To choose"" are what Mexicans put on their feet."

"All my chainsaws broke last night... I guess you can call it a chainsaw massacre. I'll walk my self out now..."

"One thing you can count on: For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it."

"Donald Trump has all the materials he needs to build that wall When he was elected millions of Democrats shit a brick"

"Man On Bus Asked Me, ""Why Looking So Crabby This Morning?"" I Just Found Out I Have Cancer..."