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Joke of the Day

"When I'm bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus."

"What do you call a statue of a ballsack? A scrotum totem"

"Do you have pet insurance? Coz I'm gonna destroy your pussy tonight"

"I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web... Because I'm going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!"

"Imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left 10 mins into it. Dick move, right? My point is old people shouldn't get to vote"

"""Hey pregnant, I'm dad"" .... .... .... ..... ""Oh god wait."""

"Why do jihadists drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French press"

"What is condemned and overused yet as inescapable as a black hole? clickbait -_-"

"The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real."

"I woke up moody, fat and depressed and thought have I turned into a woman?? Then I realized I'm just a little hungover and need some coffee. Whew!!"