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Joke of the Day

"Imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left 10 mins into it. Dick move, right? My point is old people shouldn't get to vote"

"They say that money can't buy happiness, give me 100 dollars & watch me smile "

"What do you call a shish-kebab at a fancy restaurant? A Shish-ke-Robert"

"We've heard that ignorance of maths is growing geometrically, whatever that means."

"What do performing oral sex on a constipated woman and working for the Mafia have in common? One wrong slip of the tongue and you'll probably wind up in deep shit."

"hey pepe hi my name is lyora"

"Why did the train go left? Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it."

"Facebook: ""Do you want to tag Jennifer in this Picture?"" Me: Hmmmm. does it make her look fat? Then yes, yes I do."

"The farther away the future is, the better it looks."

"Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work? He didn't want no scrubs"