193451

Joke of the Day

"Why do jihadists drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French press"

"A company testing on animals just got sued for testing a chapstick on horses that made their lips burn off. They called it neigh-balm."

"What do you call a piece of pasta that doesn't have any friends? Cannelonely!"

"Who wants to hear an appendectomy joke? [Removed]"

"How do you know you're a Seattle Seahawk? A butler serves you."

"A friend told me that I don't understand irony... ... which is ironic, because I was was waiting for a bus at the time. -- Alanis Morissette (not really)"

"I love when football players put their t-shirts over their shoulder pads because they look like business women from the 80s."

"What did Ernie say when Bert asked him if he wanted some ice cream? Sherbert. (I can't take credit for this amazing piece of comedy. Heard it from a friend, no idea if he came up with it or not.)"

"First day on the job as a drug dealer... Dealer: I don't have coke... is Pepsi okay? *gets stabbed*"

"I'll be going to my friend's Halloween party as a trapped Chilean miner unable to go to a friend's Halloween party."