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Joke of the Day

"Denied candy because I ""didn't wear red"". Kicked out of the office because I ""didn't wear pants"". I'm tired of these Valentine's Day rules."

"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything."

"what is 40 feet long and only has 3 teeth? The funnel cake line at the Arkansas state fair."

"Me: he's cute, how old is he? Guy: 25 months Me: first kid? Guy: yeah, how'd you know? Me: because you didn't say ""he's 2"""

"My sister told me to ""take the spider out"" instead of ""kill"" it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."

"Panties LUST : Tearing her panties off. Love : Sliding them down gently Marriage : Folding them regularly"

"What do you a call tree sex? A treesome..."

"People keep getting mad when I say I'm a God.... ... They all say I have a me complex"

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? A boy scout comes back from his camp."

"What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car."