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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything."
Next Joke
"Parents w/ 1st kid: *Peels grape & slices it into 84 tiny pieces. Parents w/ 4th kid: *Gives kid knife & fork to cut their own steak."
"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away."
"The band's name is 1023 MB. They haven't had any gigs yet."
"My midwife just sat me down and gently broke the news that I am simply plump and she has no reason to be here."
"Toddlers run just like a 70s stuntman engulfed in flames."
"Did you hear the one about Jerry Sandusky molesting kids? If not, it's okay - neither did the Police."
"Babies are like tattoos. They're yours forever and maybe wait a few days before posting pictures of them so they're not all gross looking."
"Riding horses is fun and all, but... ...let's be on a steer."
"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist fuck."