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Joke of the Day

"So Clark Kent is walking around with a giant cape bunched up under his dress shirt? I feel weird when I wear an undershirt."

"If a guy calls Life Alert and says ""Help I can't get up!!"" Does he have ED or can he really not get up??"

"Some people say don't bring a knife to a gun fight but I say DONT GO TO THE GUNFIGHT AT ALL ARE YOU KIDDING ME BULLETS HURT SO BAD OMG"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Alickalotapuss"

"Do you think, when they were looking for that Carmen girl, that they ever checked San Diego? Just a thought."

"How many men does it take to make popcorn? Four one to hold the pot and three to act macho and shake the stove."

"Bob's volunteered to give a C programming workshop but needs a topic Give that man some pointers"

"The horse name is Friday A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days and leaves on Friday how does he do it? The horses name is Friday"

"The less hair I have The more head I get"

"[running from a knife wielding murderer] oh hell yeah, my Fitbit steps are gonna be OFF THE SCALE today"