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Joke of the Day

"Ugh, Amazon Prime takes two whole days for delivery. I wish there was a way I could buy things and get them immediately."

"When updating your status, always proof-read carefully to see if you any words out..."

"I'm ""had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing"" years old."

"Teacher:""Okay class, time to take a test. Please take out your no.2 pencils."" *Takes out no.1 pencil* ( )"

"Einstein quietly lays in bed next to a obviously disappointed partner.. After a few minutes of awkward silence he turns to her and says, ""You see, it was fast to you..."""

"most cutting thing you can say is ""who's this clown?"" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns"

"pedophile do you think pedophiles get depressed when they see a pregnant women walk into planned parenthood?"

"True friends don't judge each other.... They judge other people, together."

"My father always told me it isn't real money if you don't make it yourself..... of course that was before he got arrested for counterfeiting."

"What do you call ten rabbits walking backwards? A receding HARE line!"