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Joke of the Day

"Why cant you play cards on a rowboat? Because you're sitting on the deck..."

"I quit my job today!! The money from that Nigerian king arrives tomorrow, I'm so excited."

"In America, you support the government In Soviet Russia, the government supports you!"

"Rectum, damn near killed him! I always hear this punchline, without the build up part. What are some variations on this classic joke?"

"WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: My experiences with you lead to an increase in dopamine and oxytocin as well"

"My friends joke he made up!! Why can you ask a NewZealander how many sexual partners they have had? Because he would fall asleep counting all the sheep. (Btw we are Australian sooo)"

"currently standing in a crowded elevator by myself holding a plate with a waffle on it everyone looks confused clearly they don't know me"

"What is a pigs favorite type of acrobatics? Porkour"

"I haven't had bread in 3 weeks. I look great but now all I think about is bread. I'm basically a duck at this point."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? They hate to see men have a good time."