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Joke of the Day

"currently standing in a crowded elevator by myself holding a plate with a waffle on it everyone looks confused clearly they don't know me"

"[hospital] DOCTOR: you're ok ME: so it was just a dream DOCTOR: no your heart did turn into a bowl of cereal but your system is accepting it"

"A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender asks: what'll you have? Ghost says: I'm here for the boos."

"A hiker tried to write poems but he didn't know what to do he tried all kinds but cleared his mind when he went for a haiku."

"Trump & Hillary are on a boat. The boat sinks, who survives? The United States."

"Boy: Dad Dad come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself."

"I like my women how i like my wine 12 years old and locked up in my basement. sorry i had to"

"What does Rick and the Llama have in common? Caaaaarl!!"

"If you're in college, what do you do when your flatmate has an epileptic seizure in the bathtub? ...throw in your dirty laundry."

"How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots"