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Joke of the Day

"Why are defense lawyers the best lovers? Because they're great at getting you off."

Next Joke
 
"I'm white. But I'm not NASCAR fan white."
"Who was the first to see a cow and think ""I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"""
"I need some advice What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning? I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off"
"Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator."
"What is brown and sticky? Shit."
"How is working in I.T. like being a wizard? You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens."
"I asked my wife what would be the best way to get rid of our son's hiccups. She said, ""Stick on your priest costume."""
"At what age do you think it's appropriate... ...to tell a highway it's adopted?"
"How much storage do you need for a mouthful of dirt? A Terra Bite"