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Joke of the Day

"When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a spider. Just so I can finally hear a women say ""Oh my God, it's huge!"""

Next Joke
 
"Every onion looks like it was in an abusive relationship."
"""You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?"" -Jesus #GoodFriday"
"a little jewish boy asks his dad for fifty dollars. his dad says: ""40 dollars? what do you need thirty dollars for?"""
"7yr old ""Do women get their periods on weekends too?"" Me ""Yes"" 7yr old mutters to herself ""Jesus Christ"""
"You ever made love to a man? You want to?"
"Dear Santa, Last year you gave me a sweater for Christmas. This year I would prefer a Moaner or a Screamer."
"Today I saw a guy driving around with upward of 10 parking tickets on his windshield. Now what were you saying about not giving a fuck?"
"How long does it take to drive across France? 3 days by panzer"
"Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr? Because it has cis-trust issues"