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Joke of the Day

"Thank you student loans for helping me get through college I don't think I can ever repay you."

"Can secretaries really write memos with both their left and right hands at the same time? Or is that just stereotyping."

"Why did you name your son Tinnitus? I don't know, me and my wife just thought it had a nice ring to it."

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong *walked on the moon* but Michael Jackson was a *pedophile.*"

"I hate when I'm spying on someone while they're showering and they let out a huge fart. What a sicko."

"I thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh no. He just wants to sit and cry in his wheelchair."

"He died doing two things he loved: making a toast sandwich and taking a bath"

"[Produce Aisle] Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave. *mouthful of like 20 grapes * ""That lady took one too!!"""

"What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of children who had bright futures."

"What's the difference between finding $50 and anal sex? One will make your day, the other will make your hole weak."