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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I'm spying on someone while they're showering and they let out a huge fart. What a sicko."

"I want to do an essay on chronology and hand it in late... ... so the professor can say ""it's about time!"""

"The biggest problem with two-faced people is, never knowing which face to slap first."

"lol these ppl ""don't see race"" right up until you start making beloved fictional characters black, then they're 18th century anthropologists"

"Why do bakers go into business? Because they knead the dough"

"""Can we not have sex tonight? I'm tired"" ""Hi Tired, I'm dad"""

"I want a coffee so rich and bold it has a cabin in the woods where it hunts humans for sport."

"Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale? Only a Sith deals in absolutes."

"I slept like a baby last night 2 hours of sleep and a whole lot of crying"

"If there's Noel.... ...then could a king be born in Israel? (If there's ""No L"", how can there be a king born in ""Is-rye-L"")"