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Joke of the Day

"[Produce Aisle] Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave. *mouthful of like 20 grapes * ""That lady took one too!!"""

"Look, I don't know how else to put this but your baby is just hideous. We were all thinking it but I drew the short straw. More water?"

"I saw my buddy dressed as a bowl of soup... I didn't know if he was friend or pho."

"What was hitler's favorite topic in math? Aljewbra"

"What's brown and black and looks good on a hippy? A rottweiller."

"Cannibals like to eat... vegetables"

"A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!"

"You know what my new year's resolution is? 1680x1050"

"Which director is Hollywood's darling? Michael Bae"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar And a chair. And a table."