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Joke of the Day

"Captain America Civil War Joke. What's War Machines favorite dance move? The Crawlington"

"I have the heart of a lion... and a lifelong ban from the zoo."

"my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and i ate them because im a velociraptor disguised as a milkshake vendor lol owned"

"I made my girlfriend dinner to cheer her up after her abortion The selfish cow didn't even touch her king prawn in red wine sauce"

"Guy: you've been a bad girl. Girl: yes baby, punish me. Guy: OK. *burns all her shoes*."

"What's the difference between a Toaster and Hitler? A toaster can only burn two things at once."

"Love my pillow so much because it doesn't leave my house in the morning after spending the night with me."

"They've finally renamed my gym ""Skinny Guys with Giant Headphones Loudly Dropping Small Weights."""

"Just bumped into Gloria Gaynor's ghost! At first I was afraid, I was petrified."

"Where do crows go to buy groceries? Kroger"