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Joke of the Day

"Mommy! I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cus it was fake. ""Oh, how did you know it was fake?"" ""It had two zeroes instead of one."""

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"A man dies in the desert next to a rock. How did he die? The rock is kyptonite and the man is superman."
"Interviewer: Give me an example of something you took with you from your last job Me: Toilet paper"
"You are no longer what you eat. You are now your browser history."
"Friend: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you? Me: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother."
"I bought Bonnie Tyler's car last year on ebay.... I bought Bonnie Tyler's car last year on ebay.It's fucking awful, every now and then it falls apart."
"What does an Australian witch ride on? A broomerang!"
"Alien vs Predator upheld by Supreme Court. ""this movie rules"" said Justice Scalia writing for the court."
"Give a man a cheeseburger, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to cheeseburger, I'm high as fuck."
"If Christians made a movie about church attendance, what would they call it? Exodus"