131187

Joke of the Day

"Give a man a cheeseburger, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to cheeseburger, I'm high as fuck."

"Your Momma is like Communism no class"

"FACT: Had kids for one reason; to send them to the basement for paper towels when I run out of them in the kitchen. It's scary down there."

"I would put a webcam in my shower to make extra money, but I would hate having to only sing public domain songs."

"Have you heard that new Ethiopian kids rap group? Skin & Bone Thugs-N-Harmony"

"If I win this lottery I'd give half to charity She treated me well at the strip club"

"Good Cop: If you confess now, you'll probably just get probation. Fad Cop: Hey Macarena!"

"What do a plate of homemade brownies and a golden shower have in common? Urine for a treat."

"Which came first. . . social media or dumb people? AND which is worse. . . the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language?"

"Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why's that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"