111383

Joke of the Day

"I bought Bonnie Tyler's car last year on ebay.... I bought Bonnie Tyler's car last year on ebay.It's fucking awful, every now and then it falls apart."

"My son: ""Dad what's a douche bag?"" Me: see that guy sitting with his friends wearing a Bluetooth?...."

"A dog made out of diamonds is everyone's best friend."

"Calling in sick to work... Me: Im not gonna be able to make it to work today bossman I'm sick Boss: You don't sound sick...? Me: Well, I'm fucking my sister, IS THAT SICK ENOUGH FOR YOU"

"What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload."

"My stats prof is so romantic... He keeps talking about his Bayes' Theorem"

"""Everyone has at least one novel inside them"" Baffled airport security rectal examiner at the end of a long, confusing shift"

"How do you keep a idiot occupied? I will tell you how in my next post- Jk the answer's in one of the comments, look through every single one and you are destined to discover the answer."

"I wanted to make sure my kids were safe when they are playing outside.... So I put an ISIS flag in my window. Now my neighbors watch them 24/7."

"I tried explaining to my girlfriend what the effects of network packet loss were. I couldn't get the message across."