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Joke of the Day

"I don't have shower thoughts. They're against my religion. I'm a Bathtist."

"BREAKING NEWS Literally to be eliminated from the English language in 2015 Use it while you can, white girls"

"Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election? Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him."

"What do you call a black hipster? An idiot."

"Every time I try to pick up chicks a description of my car ends up on the news."

"You know you have an awesome bra... when you can do the entire Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' song.... with just a slight adjustment of the shoulder straps!"

"Olympic Rowing ...literally is taking place in sewage."

"I'm gonna try and shoot the whole school Said the yearbook photographer"

"Watching the olympics women beach volleyball first round... There's already been a wrist injury, but I should be ok by tomorrow."

"Why did the male feminist take a cold shower? His other attempts to get his dick wet didn't work."