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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election? Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him."

"What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements? A parent, Lee."

"Original content Front page when?"

"I fucked myself last night. I wanted to get first-hand experience."

"If I got a dollar for every time a girl told me I was unattractive .. .. I'd eventually be attractive."

"purposely bought tall lace up boots so I'll never have to be anywhere on time again"

"What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire."

"Fails drug test. Adds ""Positive"" Person to resume."

"Do you guys ever put sheets over your dogs so they look like little dog ghosts? Me neither."

"Too err is human... To Arr is pirate."